I’m writing this piece to try and bring light to those of us who struggle with those all-too-familiar vortexes of pain and anxiety within the psyche in everyday life.
I, myself, have been plagued with that pin straight line of a mouth since I was about nine years old. I never smiled in any pictures. They always told me I was a very serious child(and I’m even more “serious” now, haha). It pained me to feign emotion. I always seemed to be trapped within my little bubble of terrors, no matter what was going on around me.
Growing up, they tell you to be strong and to get over it(ESPECIALLY for young men). You’re told your problems don’t matter. You are made to feel like you don’t matter. It’s almost as if you’re dirt constantly being swept under the rug, where no true efforts are ever made to cleanse you.
I know counseling, for a large majority of people, never truly heals either. To many, it all seems like a big scheme anyway.
Having family and friends tell you things will get better never truly cleanses the infected wounds encompassing your heart. If anything, it does nothing put reiterate that you just must “keep moving along”, and be brushed under the rug.
I’m writing this to tell you that no matter how much support you get from your family, co-workers, school, peers…it never truly heals.
NO ONE knows what it takes to be truly happy, because the definition is different in every single person’s little Webster dictionary copy.
Everyone is searching, exploring, and on this journey of life TOGETHER.
We all make mistakes, and we are able to reconcile these through the ones we have wronged.
My journey towards happiness is still well on its way. There are setbacks, and some that seem to occur in multitudes on just a single day.
The beauty of being given a chance at life… is that the world doesn’t even “need” you.
No. It doesn’t. You heard that right.
You were chosen, miraculously, you were given a chance to live. You were given parents, and a beginning.
The rest is up to you.
Despite what I’ve said about the world not needing you…once you accept this, you begin to embrace the remarkable fact that we WANT you here.
I want you here. I can learn something from you. You can inspire people. You can change the world, one friendship, or one kind word at a time.
I love you, and everything that is you. Isn’t that crazy? That a friend, family member, a stranger even, actually CARES that you are on this earth and continues, everyday, to care, and wish you all of the joy and happiness in the world.
I will just say this final thing: I know that reaching out for help can sometimes be extremely terrifying. You’re afraid of rejection, or the same old “brushed under the rug” feeling.
Well, I am here to say, that no matter our past–I AM HERE. I know that sometimes all we need is a few genuinely encouraging words or advice from a friend to completely change life’s course.
Do not hesitate to reach out to me in a time of need, however big or small. I am here to help you.
I have walked down many roads, with not a single person by my side to guide me through the darkness. I know how it feels. I know.
Stay strong my brothers and sisters, and as always, thank you for reading.